How Does Your Relationship with In-Laws Change After Losing Your Spouse?

How does your relationship with your in-laws change after losing your spouse? There is no standard answer, because perhaps it's different for everybody. It depends so much on how close your relationship to them was when your spouse was alive.

The day my wife passed away, my in-laws immediately told me they loved me, and didn't want anything to change between us. They thanked me for always being there and taking care of my wife, and said they will always consider me family. I guess I'm very lucky in that regard, as I've read of others having different experiences and feelings about this.

Some may feel as though their ties to her family end after her death, but I was married for over 20 years, and I love her family. I've spent many holidays and other occasions with them over the years. Why should that change? For me, to cut them off would mean that they were never really important to me. They were important to her, so that's the only tie we have. That may be the connection at the beginning of the relationship, but that's not where I am today.

They lost their daughter and sister, just as I lost my wife, and my kids lost their mother. They have experienced deep pain through this overwhelming loss, similar to what I have experienced. It seems fitting to me that we still have something enormous to have a bond over. We'll continue to laugh together, cry together, and share important moments together as long as we can. As I said earlier, they're family.

If the time comes that I start dating, I'll re-evaluate things again at that time. My mother-in-law has already given me her blessing to do whatever I feel I need to do to best take care of myself and my children. Yes, I am lucky in that regard.

No matter what happens, please don't give up.

Anthony