I Can't Stand the Phrase 'New Normal'

How many times have you heard someone say the words 'new normal' in relation to the COVID pandemic? I've heard it a lot. And I don't like it.

Part of the reason I don't like it is because it seems as if it's accepting the thought that we may be wearing masks every time we're in public from now on. I don't want to live like that. So, I'm not going to say things that support it. I know, crazy, huh?

Anyway, there's another reason I don't like it. That's because since I've faced losing my significant other, I've had to adapt to a new normal. If you're reading this, chances are that you have too. And you know exactly where I'm coming from.

My New Normal

What does that term mean to me? New normal is a broad term to me. It means not seeing her beautiful face every day. It means not hearing her beautiful voice. It means not having her to build me up and help me believe in myself. 

It means going to bed and waking up alone. It means washing my own clothes. It means cooking. It means helping the kids with their homework. It means grocery shopping. It means cleaning the house. It means trying to do the things that she always took care of, and I never had to think about.

It means facing a future that I can't even dream about. A future, when I currently can't imagine past tomorrow.

Embracing Reality

As difficult as it is, I've come to the part in this journey where I have to take a few steps forward. I have to stop looking at everything in the context of how much different it would be if she were still here.

I have to try and accept the fact that I may be alone the rest of my life. I truly miss my wife for who she was, but I also miss her companionship. I miss her affection. I miss her smile and her laugh.

It's hard to wrap my mind around the possibility of living 3 or 4 more decades, and being alone. It's a lonely feeling for sure.

So yes, life has become a new kind of normal for me, and not by choice. That's why I can't stand the phrase.

I know there are other men out there going through what I'm going through. I don't know how many may have found their way to this website. If you're reading this, I wish you the best. It's my sincere hope that something I write on this site will be helpful to someone.

No matter what, don't give up.

Anthony